Monday, February 20, 2012

unknown title...

Hi there...

It's a bit of a vent post, so if you dissappear I totally understand...

Wish I could say I have been amazingly too busy have fantatsic arty days ...too busy to post...but alack and alas...not true...

I am lying in bed, beside me Jacob, just in the beginnings of a not so wonderful virus that i have had for the past 4 weeks...

I always forget the stress I go through everytime he is sick, until of course the next time he gets it, ie now....I am lying herein bed, late, with him beside me,  feeling tight and stressed and nearly on the verge of tears...it's a hard thing to deal with knowing that everytime Jacob gets sick with a cold or virus, he could die. I wish it wasn't so, but it is. It's a fact I guess I am used to, but really, it is never any easier to deal with...that same rush in my heart, too scared to go to sleep, but I know I will...waking up in the morning thinking everything is ok for that split second, but then realising and panicking thinking, oh no...I fell asleep, and honestly checking him to make sure he hasn't died overnight...That my friends, is my reality.

Sorry to burden you with my thoughts at this moment, but venting helps me...

I home school my twins, Jacob has a twin sister Maddie...she has issues herself, don't know if you knew this but Maddie has deafness...last week we went for another hearing test and even though the audiologist said not to worry too much,  a certain frequency is getting worse...I do worry of course, as over the years he hearing has worsened...and to make matters worse she is seeing a psychologist for another issue, she has toileting issues, anyway, I have been too sick to even remember that I had to take her back to the paediatrician to get another referral for her appointment on Friday...impossible to organise before then, I am sure you know how hard it is to get into specialists...crazy brain strain here...

OK...on a brighter note I am slowly getting better as of today...not so much coughing and body aches...

My mum and a few of us went to get mum's biopsy results...yes she has lymphoma, but it is a low grade lymphoma and at the moment she needs no treatment...which really is one of the best possible results...

So...sorry again, and gee, well thanks for lasting to this long...

now let me see if I can rehash some prettiness. or niceness...

OH..PS..Danielle...can you email me your address please....

Our new labrador, BYRON...



The twins joy always makes me smile...

Me holding Jacob when he was still in NICU...so tiny...

Until next time
lots of it
Mandy
xxx

8 comments:

Marelize said...

Hi Mandy. I'm so sorry to hear that you are doing it so tough at the moment. I hope you feel better real soon and that Jacob recover soon too. It's great news that your mum doesn't need treatment right now. :)
Thinking of you. xox
Ps. Your puppy is adorable.

Jenny said...

Oh Mandy, my heart goes out to you... I am sure you must have super powers to accomplish what you do... Honestly, I read your blog sometimes... and think how do you manage it all... and now, not being well yourself... you are AMAZING!!!
Do hope that Jacob gets well soon... and that things start to flow beautifully for you... btw Byron is adorable...

BIG Hugs
Jenny xxx

missy k said...

You must be superwoman to cope with the things that are going on in your life. I admire you.

I'm glad its good news about your mum.

Byron is totally gorgeous.... he is going to bring so many smiles to you all.

Keep strong and vent when required!

Karenx

Sarah Lou said...

lots of love to you chook.

the puppy is as nearly as adorable as your beautiful kidlets.

Im so glad its a low grade - I had my prayers that it would only be that Still sucks that that gets to be the good news though.

scrapwordsmom said...

Mandy,

You bring so many sweet comments to my blog and I appreciate you.

I am thinking of you. So sorry you are going through this and your darling little ones. I am praying for your family...your mum, too.

Hugs my friend!!!

Leslie

Daniele Valois said...

OH my dear Aussie friend! (I am trying to be cute here to make you smile!) You're going through so much right now. Take it one step at a time, and cherish those great moments... and to add to your chaos, you have the most adorable puppy! OH, yellow labs make me melt!

Now send me some art! :D

Kristin said...

Awe!!!!! Hopefully that absolutely adorable puppy will make everyone feel well! I'm sorry you are struggling with sickness in the house and I hope you all love that puppy as much as I do! xoxoxo

E Makes Art said...

Oh man, my heart really goes out to you! I'm so sorry that you have to go through that every time! That sucks!! You are so darn strong, i don't know how you do it! Your kiddos are so blessed to have such an amazing mother. I'm sorry about your mom, but I'm glad it's low-grade. Still scary though, i'm sure! Oh, and you can rant whenever you want... it's your blog and we care about you!

Lots of love n hugs sent your way,
xoE