Hi there...
It's a bit of a vent post, so if you dissappear I totally understand...
Wish I could say I have been amazingly too busy have fantatsic arty days ...too busy to post...but alack and alas...not true...
I am lying in bed, beside me Jacob, just in the beginnings of a not so wonderful virus that i have had for the past 4 weeks...
I always forget the stress I go through everytime he is sick, until of course the next time he gets it, ie now....I am lying herein bed, late, with him beside me, feeling tight and stressed and nearly on the verge of tears...it's a hard thing to deal with knowing that everytime Jacob gets sick with a cold or virus, he could die. I wish it wasn't so, but it is. It's a fact I guess I am used to, but really, it is never any easier to deal with...that same rush in my heart, too scared to go to sleep, but I know I will...waking up in the morning thinking everything is ok for that split second, but then realising and panicking thinking, oh no...I fell asleep, and honestly checking him to make sure he hasn't died overnight...That my friends, is my reality.
Sorry to burden you with my thoughts at this moment, but venting helps me...
I home school my twins, Jacob has a twin sister Maddie...she has issues herself, don't know if you knew this but Maddie has deafness...last week we went for another hearing test and even though the audiologist said not to worry too much, a certain frequency is getting worse...I do worry of course, as over the years he hearing has worsened...and to make matters worse she is seeing a psychologist for another issue, she has toileting issues, anyway, I have been too sick to even remember that I had to take her back to the paediatrician to get another referral for her appointment on Friday...impossible to organise before then, I am sure you know how hard it is to get into specialists...crazy brain strain here...
OK...on a brighter note I am slowly getting better as of today...not so much coughing and body aches...
My mum and a few of us went to get mum's biopsy results...yes she has lymphoma, but it is a low grade lymphoma and at the moment she needs no treatment...which really is one of the best possible results...
So...sorry again, and gee, well thanks for lasting to this long...
now let me see if I can rehash some prettiness. or niceness...
OH..PS..Danielle...can you email me your address please....
Our new labrador, BYRON...
The twins joy always makes me smile...
Me holding Jacob when he was still in NICU...so tiny...
Until next time
lots of it
Mandy
xxx
